Unanswered Messages

It’s been six months since I met you, since I started having feelings for you. And here I am, staring at all our mutual friends wishing you happy birthday while I can’t bring myself to write anything to you but this: Why?

Everything started out great. We talked late into the night, flirted on the bus, and were careful not to step on each other’s feelings. You were there to comfort me when I went through my first break-up. I thought I could trust you, that you were a good person. Boy, I was wrong.

Things progressed further, I was single and could pursue you. Admittedly, it eased my recently broken heart. But I should have listened to a small collection of voices that told me you were trouble. Instead, I followed you like a lost puppy, and you hurt me more than my first broken heart of that summer.

It’s a funny thing, what clarity distance can bring. Suddenly, your excuses, long silences, and disinterest made so much more sense. I heard news passed on from friends still around you, and they were like a slap in the face. When I moved away, it wasn’t just enough to forget me, but you had to forget to tell me you were going to visit the city that your new girl lived in. Convenient, isn’t it? That way, if that relationship failed, you could come sulking back to me.

But you won’t ever have the chance. I weaned myself off your influence month by month, deleting you from my online life site by site. As far as anybody else knows, we’re strangers, who have no history together, who never went to a movie together, who never shared dreams. And it will stay that way, since if you ever have the audacity to message me again with a “sorry” message, I will give you a million reasons to crawl back to Australia.

Goodbye, love, you can keep your empty promises and your facade of a nice guy. Give them to your next poor victim, and I hope she hurts you as well as you hurt me.

Besides, you never deserved me anyways. I’m pretty sure I can do a better job of loving me than you ever could. The only thing you’ll ever see from me now is the little checkmark on read messages, without any answer.

Au revoir.

 

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