How To Survive A Long-Distance Relationship

As someone who was previously in a long-term long-distance relationship, I figured I should pass on some of my wisdom about them to people who might be facing one now.

So, here are my tips for surviving a long-distance relationship!

  1. Trust each other. Even if you wholeheartedly trust your partner, long-distance relationships can create moments of doubt. In successful long-distance relationships, you have to have a level of trust and loyalty that goes above all else that is thrown at you.
  2. Take the extra time you have and devote it to yourself. Go do the things that you’ve always wanted to do, develop your hobbies, or spend time with your friends. Just because your significant other isn’t there, doesn’t mean that you have to stop living a fun life. Plus, keeping busy will keep you from obsessively missing them.
  3. Communicate. Make time so that you can both sit down to a weekly Skype or Facetime call to really catch up with one another and hear each other’s voice. Texting and apps like WhatsApp are great for keeping in touch while you’re apart from each other as well.
  4. Have an end date in mind to being apart, so you know where you’re headed long term with your significant other. Or, if you can’t plan a definitive end date, plan a date for when you’ll see or visit each other next.
  5. Send them a gift from time to time. It could be for a special event or just because, but it’s always a sweet thing to do to let them know you’re thinking of them.
  6. Work through the rough patches together. Long-distance relationships aren’t problem free, so having open lines of communication to solve and discuss problems is vital to success in the long run. However, remember that if you’re arguing with your significant other, that sometimes you’ll need to give them space.
  7. Remember that your significant other has a life too. You can’t expect them to be there 24/7, but they should at least be there for when it matters. Especially if they’re working or in university, cut your partner some slack if they’re really busy.
  8. Don’t give into jealousy. It may be easy to envy the relationships of your friends or family, but it won’t improve your long-distance relationship. Remember, you can’t judge the success of your long-distance relationship by the standards of relationships around you.
  9. Don’t cheat on your partner. It is incredibly unfair to the other person, especially if they trust you completely. However, if you do, please let your partner know as soon as possible, since then you can decide whether to carry on the relationship or not.
  10. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. If you sit down as a couple now and then to discuss and reassess where your relationship is going, it will help you grow together and overcome any problems. As well, if you decide that both of you have changed and want to go down separate paths, it might save you some heartache.
  11. Last but not least, enjoy your time in your long-distance relationship. While they are a challenge and are hard to maintain, there may be a time when you look back on the relationship fondly. And who knows, maybe your long-distance will end because you’ve moved in with the love of your life.

I hope that my advice helped those of you that are in long-distance relationships or about to be in one. If you have any long-distance relationship tips as well, feel free to drop them in the comments!

-Mel.

 

Tips For Online Dating

Since it’s that time of year when finding a Valentine seems to be on many people’s minds, I figured I’d share some of my online dating tips. I can’t guarantee that they’ll land you a date right away, but they might give you a chance to go on a date with a new special someone!

So, without further ado, here are my tips for using dating apps!

  1. Don’t be afraid to shop around for different dating sites or apps. I had to try a few different apps to find the ones I was comfortable using, and with the type of people I would consider dating. You should take into account if the app is more for hookups or relationships, if it can accommodate who you want to date, and how you communicate with people on the app when choosing one.
  2. Don’t ever neglect your safety. While this is more for the women out there, in general, you shouldn’t agree to meet with someone you don’t trust. I also recommend that you make first dates in a public place where you can get help easily, and tell a family member or friend about the date. Unfortunately, there are people catfishing out there and people convicted of sexual assaults on dating apps, so be careful.
  3. Don’t be stingy in who you think might work out. Some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had were with people that I tentatively swiped right on. Plus, you don’t necessarily want a partner to be an exact carbon copy of yourself, so go ahead and explore your options!
  4. Make the plunge and send them a message. It can sometimes be the scariest thing to do, but even a quick sentence about how you share a favorite band can grab someone’s attention. It may be a good idea to just send a “hi” instead of a really bad pickup line too for that first message.
  5. Don’t be afraid to say no. There are some characters out there, and if they are interacting with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you can leave the conversation or say no to anything they ask of you. Keeping toxic people around is going to cause you trouble, so sometimes you just have to hit the block button.
  6. Guys, this one’s for you. Please, for the love of all things holy, do not send explicit pictures or messages unless you have asked if it is alright first. I know very few women who want to have a dick pic pop up on their screen randomly. There’s nothing wrong with exchanging pictures or sexts if you want to, just do it with consent. And no, getting my Snapchat does not count as consent.
  7. At least write a little bit about yourself on your profile. There’s nothing more frustrating than opening up a profile to see every section saying “hey” or “message me.” Giving people some information can serve a jumping off point for conversation, which will make it easier for people to message you.
  8. Embrace patience in your use of dating apps. It’s going to take time to build up some matches or get a conversation going. Don’t give up hope if you don’t have a hundred messages in your inbox after day one on a dating site. After all, people lead busy lives, and they say the one is always worth the wait.
  9. Don’t let dating apps take over your life. While having a partner is fantastic, obsessing over dating apps to find one can be draining. Besides, sometimes you need to be single for a while to figure out what you need and want from your love life. It’s perfectly fine to delete dating apps from your phone if you need a break.
  10. Be unapologetic about who you are, because they’re going to find out eventually. While it is easier to lie in online dating, if you end up dating someone in real life that you met online, they will find out what you’re trying to hide. It’s better to be honest, since someone who is truly worth dating will accept you as you are.
  11. Last, have some fun. The whole point of dating apps is to get to know different people, so get out there and do it. Go to the movies, to that cool new restaurant, or try paintball, whatever your heart desires. Except, with a dating app, you can have some company to explore all the intriguing things this world has to offer.

What are some of your best tips for online dating? Leave a comment or any questions about online dating you have below!

Hope you all have a lovely Valentine’s Day!

-Mel.

10 Things You Learn When You’re Single

  1. You can order whatever food you want, whenever, and nobody will judge you.
  2. You can go on a lot of first dates.
  3. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, including travelling the world over.
  4. You are never alone, there’s always someone who has your back.
  5. You may not be a perfect person, but you have the power to become a better person.
  6. You’re stronger and more independent than you thought.
  7. Treating yourself is just as important as any other priority.
  8. What you actually love doing.
  9. You are capable of meeting new people or being in new situations and not making a fool of yourself.
  10. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

-Mel.

Day 6-A Date You Want To Go On

Ironically this is one of those online dating questions…

For me, I always like to collaborate with the person that I’m going on a date with for the date idea so I can take their interests and personality into account.

Personally, my ideal date would be a combination of fun, casual, and romantic.

For example, take me to a bowling alley, and then on a walk to talk about things and maybe grab a bite to eat too. Or arrange a picnic in the park, but also maybe have a biking adventure planned out for after.

But, in the end, so long as I can get to know the person and it’s not too high pressure of a situation, I’m always up for anything, even if it involves a gun range.

What’s your ideal date? Leave it below!

-Mel.

Day 25

Today’s question is: would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?

For me, it’s always been the first choice, someone plain with an amazing personality. I believe that what makes someone good to date at the end of the day is their thoughts, their beliefs, their personality. Not to mention, it’ll help keep a relationship going if you can talk to one another, and appreciate their personality. As well, you don’t necessarily have to have the same personality, it’s fine if they clash!

As for looks, they are a bonus. If you catch my eye while I’m out and about doing my thing, there’s a higher probability I will talk to you.But if that really cute guy has a personality of a potato, it’s kind of a deal breaker for dating, at least for me.

I think that both definitely matter in who I choose to date, I am pretty vain and shallow sometimes too. However, hopefully, everyone can find someone who looks cute to them, and that complements them with their personality. Or that’s what I wish for all of you reading this.

So, what would you rather have? Leave it in the comments!

-Mel.

Day 21-Turn on and offs

I’ve gathered my top three turn ons and offs dating wise mostly, but they’re applicable to friendships as well!

Turn-ons:

  1. Sense of humour: If you can make me laugh, you’re doing well. Also, if you understand my sarcastic sense of humour, you are automatically my best friend.
  2. Intelligence: By intelligence, I don’t mean you have to love everything I like to learn about. I find it really nice to be able to hold an intelligent conversation, and if you can bring something for me to learn about, kudos to you.
  3. Loyalty: As weird as this may sound, but if you aren’t loyal to me, or to those in your life, I probably won’t date you. Loyalty for me is one of the things I give wholeheartedly to a relationship, and if the other person can’t, game over.

Turn-offs:

  1. Not answering messages: I understand life is busy, that everyone has things they have to do. But if you can’t take five minutes out of your day to send a quick response, why should I take five minutes of my time to talk to you?
  2. Not being kind: What I mean by this is a level of kindness for everyone. You may not like everyone, and I get that, but yelling at waitresses and those in retail won’t get you brownie points. For me, this is also tied to having a level of respect for everyone.
  3. Treating me like an object: Ladies, and men to some degree, you know what I mean. I’m sorry guys, but if you treat me like an object that will fulfill all your desires, better start running, because I don’t tolerate that at all. I am a PERSON, and deserve to be treated as such.

There you go, short but sweet list of my turn-ons and turn-offs. What are yours? Comment them below!

-Mel.