How To Survive A Long-Distance Relationship

As someone who was previously in a long-term long-distance relationship, I figured I should pass on some of my wisdom about them to people who might be facing one now.

So, here are my tips for surviving a long-distance relationship!

  1. Trust each other. Even if you wholeheartedly trust your partner, long-distance relationships can create moments of doubt. In successful long-distance relationships, you have to have a level of trust and loyalty that goes above all else that is thrown at you.
  2. Take the extra time you have and devote it to yourself. Go do the things that you’ve always wanted to do, develop your hobbies, or spend time with your friends. Just because your significant other isn’t there, doesn’t mean that you have to stop living a fun life. Plus, keeping busy will keep you from obsessively missing them.
  3. Communicate. Make time so that you can both sit down to a weekly Skype or Facetime call to really catch up with one another and hear each other’s voice. Texting and apps like WhatsApp are great for keeping in touch while you’re apart from each other as well.
  4. Have an end date in mind to being apart, so you know where you’re headed long term with your significant other. Or, if you can’t plan a definitive end date, plan a date for when you’ll see or visit each other next.
  5. Send them a gift from time to time. It could be for a special event or just because, but it’s always a sweet thing to do to let them know you’re thinking of them.
  6. Work through the rough patches together. Long-distance relationships aren’t problem free, so having open lines of communication to solve and discuss problems is vital to success in the long run. However, remember that if you’re arguing with your significant other, that sometimes you’ll need to give them space.
  7. Remember that your significant other has a life too. You can’t expect them to be there 24/7, but they should at least be there for when it matters. Especially if they’re working or in university, cut your partner some slack if they’re really busy.
  8. Don’t give into jealousy. It may be easy to envy the relationships of your friends or family, but it won’t improve your long-distance relationship. Remember, you can’t judge the success of your long-distance relationship by the standards of relationships around you.
  9. Don’t cheat on your partner. It is incredibly unfair to the other person, especially if they trust you completely. However, if you do, please let your partner know as soon as possible, since then you can decide whether to carry on the relationship or not.
  10. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. If you sit down as a couple now and then to discuss and reassess where your relationship is going, it will help you grow together and overcome any problems. As well, if you decide that both of you have changed and want to go down separate paths, it might save you some heartache.
  11. Last but not least, enjoy your time in your long-distance relationship. While they are a challenge and are hard to maintain, there may be a time when you look back on the relationship fondly. And who knows, maybe your long-distance will end because you’ve moved in with the love of your life.

I hope that my advice helped those of you that are in long-distance relationships or about to be in one. If you have any long-distance relationship tips as well, feel free to drop them in the comments!

-Mel.

 

Day 23: Your Definition of Love

Love, to me at least, is a concept that doesn’t have one particular definition, since there are many types of love and many qualities of (good) love.

However, if I had to, I would define love as an emotional and/or physical bond between individuals. This includes bonds between family, friends, and significant others.

I believe that love has certain qualities that distinguishes it from other things. Love brings people together in the best and worst of times in life, but it also has the power to cause great harm. If you can truly expect someone to in your life no matter what, then that embodies an element of love.

Love also involves elements of respect and trust for me. Those who love you should respect your opinions and what you do with your life, but in a way that is constructive to make you a better person. They should also be loyal, and not willing to disclose all your secrets or cheat on you on a whim.

Anyways, I could write an essay about what love is and is not, so I’ll stop here before I start philosophizing all day. If you’d like to see more of my thoughts about love, you can always check out my writing posts under the love category.

Do you agree with my definition of love? Leave me a comment below with your thoughts!

-Mel.

 

Day 15: Your Zodiac Sign

My zodiac sign is Cancer, since my birthday is at the end of June. I’d say I match the stereotypical descriptions and traits of my zodiac sign very closely.

Cancers are usually said to be very home and family oriented, which is accurate for me. I care deeply about my family and friends, and I’m always looking out for their wellbeing. I tend to be a very maternal person as well, and I’m definitely looking forward to the day when I own my own house and have a family.

Another stereotypical Cancer trait is that they’re emotional and very sensitive. I definitely am both, and I’m very empathetic as well. That being said, often this trait is presented as a negative thing. While I believe that it can hinder progress sometimes, being able to understand and express emotions can give you a richer understanding of the world.

Career wise, Cancers are said to be strong-willed and good with money. I’m definitely rather stubborn on some issues, but I don’t think I’m the best with money that I could be. However, I do have a lot of the intuition and creativity that Cancers typically have, which has definitely helped me to a degree with work.

When it comes to love, the main things Cancers worry about are trust and loyalty. Both do matter a lot to me, since I will only consider dating someone if I know their intentions are good and that they’re trustworthy. I’m also a stereotypical Cancer romance wise due to the fact that I’m very traditional in what I expect from a partner or a date.

So, if you ever need an example of a stereotypical Cancer woman, look no further than this blog. However, while I enjoy horoscopes and zodiac signs, I don’t let them dictate my life choices, which I encourage you guys to do as well.

What are your zodiac signs, and are you anything like them? Let me know down below!

-Mel.

 

Day 3: Five ways to win your heart

Well, if any of you are wondering how to sweep me off my feet, then here you go! These are five of the things that can guarantee you’ll at least win a bit of my heart…

  1. Be kind. Kindness is rare these days, so showing that you care about others goes a long way. This especially applies when on a date, since I will judge people by how well they treat waitresses, cashiers, etc.
  2. Be honest and open. I really appreciate when people are forthcoming with what they want out of a potential relationship, especially when it comes to the game called online dating. In general, being open and honest about your opinions and your expectations will help in the long run as well.
  3. Respect that I am a person. Just like everyone else, I have goals, opinions, and preferences. There’s nothing more annoying than having someone diss everything you like or questioning whether every single decision you make is acceptable. I may make mistakes, but respecting that I am an individual that is fully capable of saying no or deciding my career path is more than appreciated.
  4. Taking care of the small things. I’m the type of person who already has a life plan and long-term goals that I’m working towards. So, I appreciate when others take care of some of the smaller things, like doing the dishes or grabbing that one thing I forgot doing groceries. It’s also super nice to have someone check in with a simple “how are you?” every now and then.
  5. Don’t go over the top. While those grand romantic gestures are great for the movies, they don’t work so well in real life. Honestly, I’d rather spend a few hours chatting in a coffee shop or going for a wander than getting my own horse-drawn carriage. After all, the simple things in life are really what matter.

Does my list match some of the ways people can win your hearts? Drop me a comment below!

-Mel.

Tips For Online Dating

Since it’s that time of year when finding a Valentine seems to be on many people’s minds, I figured I’d share some of my online dating tips. I can’t guarantee that they’ll land you a date right away, but they might give you a chance to go on a date with a new special someone!

So, without further ado, here are my tips for using dating apps!

  1. Don’t be afraid to shop around for different dating sites or apps. I had to try a few different apps to find the ones I was comfortable using, and with the type of people I would consider dating. You should take into account if the app is more for hookups or relationships, if it can accommodate who you want to date, and how you communicate with people on the app when choosing one.
  2. Don’t ever neglect your safety. While this is more for the women out there, in general, you shouldn’t agree to meet with someone you don’t trust. I also recommend that you make first dates in a public place where you can get help easily, and tell a family member or friend about the date. Unfortunately, there are people catfishing out there and people convicted of sexual assaults on dating apps, so be careful.
  3. Don’t be stingy in who you think might work out. Some of the most interesting conversations I’ve had were with people that I tentatively swiped right on. Plus, you don’t necessarily want a partner to be an exact carbon copy of yourself, so go ahead and explore your options!
  4. Make the plunge and send them a message. It can sometimes be the scariest thing to do, but even a quick sentence about how you share a favorite band can grab someone’s attention. It may be a good idea to just send a “hi” instead of a really bad pickup line too for that first message.
  5. Don’t be afraid to say no. There are some characters out there, and if they are interacting with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you can leave the conversation or say no to anything they ask of you. Keeping toxic people around is going to cause you trouble, so sometimes you just have to hit the block button.
  6. Guys, this one’s for you. Please, for the love of all things holy, do not send explicit pictures or messages unless you have asked if it is alright first. I know very few women who want to have a dick pic pop up on their screen randomly. There’s nothing wrong with exchanging pictures or sexts if you want to, just do it with consent. And no, getting my Snapchat does not count as consent.
  7. At least write a little bit about yourself on your profile. There’s nothing more frustrating than opening up a profile to see every section saying “hey” or “message me.” Giving people some information can serve a jumping off point for conversation, which will make it easier for people to message you.
  8. Embrace patience in your use of dating apps. It’s going to take time to build up some matches or get a conversation going. Don’t give up hope if you don’t have a hundred messages in your inbox after day one on a dating site. After all, people lead busy lives, and they say the one is always worth the wait.
  9. Don’t let dating apps take over your life. While having a partner is fantastic, obsessing over dating apps to find one can be draining. Besides, sometimes you need to be single for a while to figure out what you need and want from your love life. It’s perfectly fine to delete dating apps from your phone if you need a break.
  10. Be unapologetic about who you are, because they’re going to find out eventually. While it is easier to lie in online dating, if you end up dating someone in real life that you met online, they will find out what you’re trying to hide. It’s better to be honest, since someone who is truly worth dating will accept you as you are.
  11. Last, have some fun. The whole point of dating apps is to get to know different people, so get out there and do it. Go to the movies, to that cool new restaurant, or try paintball, whatever your heart desires. Except, with a dating app, you can have some company to explore all the intriguing things this world has to offer.

What are some of your best tips for online dating? Leave a comment or any questions about online dating you have below!

Hope you all have a lovely Valentine’s Day!

-Mel.

Goodbye to the Sunshine Dog

Jypsie, Jyps, Tipsy, Sexy, Houdini, Dummkopf, you were known by many names.

You always knew where the best sun patch was inside and outside. You’d always lie on the picnic table, napping for hours under the sun and keeping an eye on the kitchen. I’m sure at some point you must have been raised by a cat, since you were a very strange dog.

Of course, you also got into a fair amount of trouble. From digging holes to escaping the yard so many times, we had to keep it shut with a belt. It’s amazing that you managed to teach our old dog Jerzy your tricks as well, you two were a ridiculous duo when you combined your talents.

You were a good hunter too, fitting for a family of hunters. You were oh so proud to come into the house one day smacking on the feathers of the bird you’d just caught. We’ll miss our bird and mouse hunter.

You also never understood the concept of personal space. It didn’t matter if the three of us girls were on the couch, you’d find some room to squish your fluffy butt into. Sharing the back seat with you on car rides meant at some point, you would have a dog on your lap that demanded attention.

You got me through some rough times, either by spending a few hours cuddled close or by sharing your infectious good energy. Nobody could say no to your goofy grin greeting everyone that stepped through the door.

Saying goodbye to you was really hard, but I’m glad that you waited until I was home, so I was there to sneak in a few last pets.

I hope you are at peace, running around with Jerzy and getting spoiled to no end in heaven.

Love you always,

Mel.

How To Deal With Being Homesick

As I’m writing this tonight, I’m feeling the usual bout of homesickness that comes with being across the country from my family.

So, I decided to write down a list of things that’ll make you feel less homesick for the people out there going through it. Here goes…

  1. Talk to your family. As simple as it sounds, just chatting with them and catching up helps, since you feel like you’re almost home in a way. Plus they might send you cute hug stickers.
  2. Hang out with your friends on campus, it takes your mind off home. Plus, I have some friends who also get pretty homesick so we support each other.
  3. Go for a walk. Get some coffee, wander around town, walk somewhere as long as you get fresh air. It’ll clear your head.
  4. Get some comfort food. If there’s one food that always reminds you of home or makes you feel better, treat yourself.
  5. Watch your favorite movie or TV show. It also takes your mind off being homesick, and bonus if it makes you laugh. Plus with comfort food, it makes a good night.
  6. If you have a special object from home, grab it. I personally keep a bunch of cards that I’ve gotten from family and I reread them when I’m down.
  7. Go do something! Find a special lecture, event, go to the pub, something that’ll get you out of your room. Again, it keeps your mind from only focusing on home.
  8. Have a dance party! Blast your favourite tunes for a while to cheer you up.
  9. Get creative. Doodle, colour, play music, write, whatever your thing is. Personally, I like combining this with blasting my music.
  10. Do your schoolwork. As weird as it sounds, I’ve sometimes found immersing myself in a project or paper helps.
  11. If all else fails, let yourself feel your emotions, even if it involves crying. It helps release all your feelings, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope these suggestions help any of my readers out there experiencing homesickness, and that you get back to feeling fantastic like the great people you are.

-Mel.

 

10 Things You Learn When You’re Single

  1. You can order whatever food you want, whenever, and nobody will judge you.
  2. You can go on a lot of first dates.
  3. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, including travelling the world over.
  4. You are never alone, there’s always someone who has your back.
  5. You may not be a perfect person, but you have the power to become a better person.
  6. You’re stronger and more independent than you thought.
  7. Treating yourself is just as important as any other priority.
  8. What you actually love doing.
  9. You are capable of meeting new people or being in new situations and not making a fool of yourself.
  10. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

-Mel.

Day 25-Your Siblings

Luckily I only have the one sibling, a younger sister.

She’s four years younger, which is a big gap, but we still get along very well.

She’s finishing up her first year of high school right now with very little trouble. She’s in band, and she’s also pretty involved in Girl Guides.

But the thing I think my sister should be most proud of is her medals from her archery competitions. She’s won quite a few this year, and fingers crossed she does well for some of the future competitions she’s interested in.

My sister is also a giant nerd like me, except with love of K-pop and anime thrown in. We literally spent our time on the phone recently reading each other funny Tumblr posts…and watching Markiplier. She’s my go to for Comic Expo as well, and we’ve had fun there the last few years.

In any case, I love my little sis to bits, even if she changes my name in her phone to the one that doesn’t answer when I’m away at university.

Love ya Panda.

-Mel.

Day 9-The Person You Like

Well, another 30 Day Challenge, and the same answer for the same question!

I still like the same person as in March, and I still haven’t told them about it. I won’t reveal their name or dead giveaway details since they do know I have a blog now…

The guy I like is hard to describe, to be honest. He is caring and understanding, always there for support on good and bad days. He is very determined and dedicated to his goals in life, and he has a plan for where he’s going. He can be stubborn, but it never ends our conversations. He has a great sense of humour and gets my sarcasm. He shares a lot of the same interests and world views, but we’re different enough that I think we can learn from each other.

I should really tell him I like him, but I don’t want to risk the friendship between us unless I’m 100% sure that it’ll end up well. For now, I’m happy being friends with him.

-Mel.