Day 23: Your Definition of Love

Love, to me at least, is a concept that doesn’t have one particular definition, since there are many types of love and many qualities of (good) love.

However, if I had to, I would define love as an emotional and/or physical bond between individuals. This includes bonds between family, friends, and significant others.

I believe that love has certain qualities that distinguishes it from other things. Love brings people together in the best and worst of times in life, but it also has the power to cause great harm. If you can truly expect someone to in your life no matter what, then that embodies an element of love.

Love also involves elements of respect and trust for me. Those who love you should respect your opinions and what you do with your life, but in a way that is constructive to make you a better person. They should also be loyal, and not willing to disclose all your secrets or cheat on you on a whim.

Anyways, I could write an essay about what love is and is not, so I’ll stop here before I start philosophizing all day. If you’d like to see more of my thoughts about love, you can always check out my writing posts under the love category.

Do you agree with my definition of love? Leave me a comment below with your thoughts!

-Mel.

 

Day 3: Five ways to win your heart

Well, if any of you are wondering how to sweep me off my feet, then here you go! These are five of the things that can guarantee you’ll at least win a bit of my heart…

  1. Be kind. Kindness is rare these days, so showing that you care about others goes a long way. This especially applies when on a date, since I will judge people by how well they treat waitresses, cashiers, etc.
  2. Be honest and open. I really appreciate when people are forthcoming with what they want out of a potential relationship, especially when it comes to the game called online dating. In general, being open and honest about your opinions and your expectations will help in the long run as well.
  3. Respect that I am a person. Just like everyone else, I have goals, opinions, and preferences. There’s nothing more annoying than having someone diss everything you like or questioning whether every single decision you make is acceptable. I may make mistakes, but respecting that I am an individual that is fully capable of saying no or deciding my career path is more than appreciated.
  4. Taking care of the small things. I’m the type of person who already has a life plan and long-term goals that I’m working towards. So, I appreciate when others take care of some of the smaller things, like doing the dishes or grabbing that one thing I forgot doing groceries. It’s also super nice to have someone check in with a simple “how are you?” every now and then.
  5. Don’t go over the top. While those grand romantic gestures are great for the movies, they don’t work so well in real life. Honestly, I’d rather spend a few hours chatting in a coffee shop or going for a wander than getting my own horse-drawn carriage. After all, the simple things in life are really what matter.

Does my list match some of the ways people can win your hearts? Drop me a comment below!

-Mel.

10 Things You Learn When You’re Single

  1. You can order whatever food you want, whenever, and nobody will judge you.
  2. You can go on a lot of first dates.
  3. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, including travelling the world over.
  4. You are never alone, there’s always someone who has your back.
  5. You may not be a perfect person, but you have the power to become a better person.
  6. You’re stronger and more independent than you thought.
  7. Treating yourself is just as important as any other priority.
  8. What you actually love doing.
  9. You are capable of meeting new people or being in new situations and not making a fool of yourself.
  10. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

-Mel.

Day 23-What Area of Life I’d Like To Improve

To be honest, I’d like to improve in all the areas of my life.

In relationships, I want to be a better friend, one who is more up to date and connected to them. I’m bad at messaging someone constantly for a while then not doing so again for months, so I’d definitely like to improve on that. Plus, if it gets me a date or something, bonus points!

In general, I’d like to become better at managing being an adult, from being able to manage my money better, to doing my taxes and stuff like that. Plus, I’m hoping the adulting skills I learn now will help me prepare for after graduating school. However, I know those will come in time, since I can’t learn everything adult at once.

At school, I’d like to keep getting good marks, and become more involved on campus next year with societies and clubs. I’m thinking as well that I’d like to go on exchange, which might require a bit of extra work and maybe getting a few scholarships.

What do you guys want to improve in your life? Tell me down below!

-Mel.

Day 19-How I’ve Changed In The Last 2 Years

Almost two years ago, I was writing my last diploma exams for high school, so I feel like it’s a good time to be writing this.

I don’t think I can say only part of me has changed, but me as a whole. If you had met the Melissa graduating high school, I think you wouldn’t recognize the woman I am today.

In terms of relationships, I was in a long-term relationship two years ago. Now, I’ve been single for almost a year, and I’ve honestly been loving it, especially the freedom to do whatever I want. I’ve learnt over the last two years that I need to rely on myself before anyone else, and that I am the source of my happiness, not the guy I date. In terms of both relationships, and in particular friendships, I’ve learnt more about what being a good friend means, and when I need to leave some friendships. My friends now are some of the best I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

In terms of work, in the last two years I’ve changed jobs once, and I decided to come back to a job I thought I would never have. When I moved out to Banff last year for my job, I took a huge leap of faith in my abilities and the job in general. I survived that summer, and this summer I’m working at the same place. It’s definitely a change from working in food service to sales, but I’ve become more outgoing because of it.

In terms of school, I’ve learned so much. I learnt how to study, how to write better, how to manage my time, etc. I loved my first year, and I can’t wait to get back to X, even if that means having to do midterms and exams again. However, two years ago I don’t think I would have decided moving to a small university across the country would be perfection, but it is now.

In terms of everything else, I think I’ve gained a lot of independence and have become a lot more of a responsible adult. After dealing with taxes, doctor’s appointments, and living on my own basically in Banff and Nova Scotia, I’ve learnt a lot of small life lessons. Whether it’s cooking a new meal or figuring out where to get a letter for a scholarship on campus, I’ve become better at managing my own things. I also appreciate my parents and all they do, because I struggle sometimes with getting everything done on time.

In any case, I’m thankful for the lessons life has taught me over the last two years, and I’m optimistic for the next few. Hopefully, I can read this post then and be proud of where I’ve gotten. Until then,  I’ll keep going in this journey called life.

-Mel.

 

Day 9-The Person You Like

Well, another 30 Day Challenge, and the same answer for the same question!

I still like the same person as in March, and I still haven’t told them about it. I won’t reveal their name or dead giveaway details since they do know I have a blog now…

The guy I like is hard to describe, to be honest. He is caring and understanding, always there for support on good and bad days. He is very determined and dedicated to his goals in life, and he has a plan for where he’s going. He can be stubborn, but it never ends our conversations. He has a great sense of humour and gets my sarcasm. He shares a lot of the same interests and world views, but we’re different enough that I think we can learn from each other.

I should really tell him I like him, but I don’t want to risk the friendship between us unless I’m 100% sure that it’ll end up well. For now, I’m happy being friends with him.

-Mel.

Day 6-A Date You Want To Go On

Ironically this is one of those online dating questions…

For me, I always like to collaborate with the person that I’m going on a date with for the date idea so I can take their interests and personality into account.

Personally, my ideal date would be a combination of fun, casual, and romantic.

For example, take me to a bowling alley, and then on a walk to talk about things and maybe grab a bite to eat too. Or arrange a picnic in the park, but also maybe have a biking adventure planned out for after.

But, in the end, so long as I can get to know the person and it’s not too high pressure of a situation, I’m always up for anything, even if it involves a gun range.

What’s your ideal date? Leave it below!

-Mel.

Day 25

Today’s question is: would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?

For me, it’s always been the first choice, someone plain with an amazing personality. I believe that what makes someone good to date at the end of the day is their thoughts, their beliefs, their personality. Not to mention, it’ll help keep a relationship going if you can talk to one another, and appreciate their personality. As well, you don’t necessarily have to have the same personality, it’s fine if they clash!

As for looks, they are a bonus. If you catch my eye while I’m out and about doing my thing, there’s a higher probability I will talk to you.But if that really cute guy has a personality of a potato, it’s kind of a deal breaker for dating, at least for me.

I think that both definitely matter in who I choose to date, I am pretty vain and shallow sometimes too. However, hopefully, everyone can find someone who looks cute to them, and that complements them with their personality. Or that’s what I wish for all of you reading this.

So, what would you rather have? Leave it in the comments!

-Mel.

Day 21-Turn on and offs

I’ve gathered my top three turn ons and offs dating wise mostly, but they’re applicable to friendships as well!

Turn-ons:

  1. Sense of humour: If you can make me laugh, you’re doing well. Also, if you understand my sarcastic sense of humour, you are automatically my best friend.
  2. Intelligence: By intelligence, I don’t mean you have to love everything I like to learn about. I find it really nice to be able to hold an intelligent conversation, and if you can bring something for me to learn about, kudos to you.
  3. Loyalty: As weird as this may sound, but if you aren’t loyal to me, or to those in your life, I probably won’t date you. Loyalty for me is one of the things I give wholeheartedly to a relationship, and if the other person can’t, game over.

Turn-offs:

  1. Not answering messages: I understand life is busy, that everyone has things they have to do. But if you can’t take five minutes out of your day to send a quick response, why should I take five minutes of my time to talk to you?
  2. Not being kind: What I mean by this is a level of kindness for everyone. You may not like everyone, and I get that, but yelling at waitresses and those in retail won’t get you brownie points. For me, this is also tied to having a level of respect for everyone.
  3. Treating me like an object: Ladies, and men to some degree, you know what I mean. I’m sorry guys, but if you treat me like an object that will fulfill all your desires, better start running, because I don’t tolerate that at all. I am a PERSON, and deserve to be treated as such.

There you go, short but sweet list of my turn-ons and turn-offs. What are yours? Comment them below!

-Mel.